Sing the last thing on your mind…

Once again, I am at work and it’s cold.  It’s freezing in the southern states and some places still have the ac running full blast.  What is up with that?  Okay, it’s not freezing but it’s freaking cold outside and it’s annoying to go into a room with the ac on blast.  I can’t feel my fingers…and I’m also hungry.

I applied to my first “real” job today.  Kudos to me.  It’s a paid internship.  I’m hoping I get it because I really need a job.  Although, I’m really beginning to question what lead me to attend college in the first place.  I honestly have NO answer to this question and it’s starting to annoy the hell out of me.  Why am I here?  I have no idea, I wish I did but I sadly enough, I don’t.  College is a roller coaster ride that starts at the top and eventually hits the bottom because it’s time to move on from the college life and live in the real world.  But what’s really creepy is those people who can’t leave it behind.  There comes a time in every young person’s life when they have to wake up one day and say, “Hey, today is the day I’m going to be a grown up.”  Sure partying here and there is fine, but you can’t go to the extreme anymore like you did in college.  You’ll probably kill yourself or fail miserably at life.

I’m jumping around in a tangent because I can’t keep to one thing for too long.  I think my car is dying.  The passengar tire is going flat, but that’s not all that’s wrong with it.  Right now, I have no cash to pay to fix it and on top of that I need to get the starter replaced soon.  I was hoping either doing Thanksgiving break or during finals week because I have only one final and it’s on a Thursday or Friday.  I should probably check that sometime next week to be absolutely sure.  My life is just unraveling at the seams and I can’t grab the threads quick enough to stop it.  Today a guy sitting outside his apartment asked me if I was alright, I lied and said “sure.”  I’m not and I doubt I ever will be “alright.”

I finished read the Oil! by Upton Sinclair this morning and I must say that I loved it.  The book is way better than the movie, There Will be Blood.  The movie was creepy and gave me nightmares, but I got over them.  The book made me feel as if I lived during that time.  Although, I didn’t sympathize with any of the characters.  I think Bunny is fucking stupid and soft, and his dad was doing good until old age kicked in and he became just as soft as Bunny.  I think both had a lot to learn from each, but they never took the time to really see what the other had to say which is sad but that’s how life is.  My next book is The Shack by William Young.  I can already see this book is going to take me awhile to read.  I’m not a religious person, but seeing as how I work at a bookstore, a lot of customers are always recommending books for me to read and vice versa.  I promised this lady I’d read it…just to see what all the hype is about mind you.  I plan on doing the same thing with the S. Meyer books.  Everyone talks about those, from coworkers to the nurse who change the dressings on my mom’s stomach.  I’ll read those in good time, right now there are other books I’d rather sink myself into.

I have a tattoo on the my right wrist, memento mori.  I found this cool quote and thought I’d share it.

“Never forget that you must die; that death will come sooner than you expect…. God has written the letters of death upon your hands.  In the inside of your hands you will see the letters M.M.  It means ‘Memento Mori’ – remember you must die.”  ~J. Furniss, Tracts for Spiritual Reading